5 days.

5 days until school is out.  Woot.  I can make it.  I can make it.  With all the craziness that is getting ready for the year to be over, I’ve been a little absent.  So…an update on what’s been going on in my life.

  • The yarn that I ordered for the baby sweater came in.  It is just as beautiful and soft as I had hoped.  Yay for etsy.  I can’t wait to get started on the sweater.
  • Friday I had the Mirena IUD inserted (TMI anyone?).  It was seriously the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced…for about 15 minutes.  Further proof that I will not live through giving birth.  I cramped Friday night, and had some bleeding all weekend, but so far so good.  It only cost me my $15 co-pay, I’m protected right away, I shouldn’t have any of the nasty emotional roller coaster issues because the hormones are not circulating through my blood, and it lasts for 5 years.  5 years.  That’s a savings of $600.  And peace of mind b/c I won’t forget to take a pill.  And the best part?  9/10 women no longer get their periods once it’s inserted.  And the rest of them, their periods average 2 days.  2 days!  I’m excited.
  • Sunday we went on a short 12 mile bike ride.  It was fun.  But Monday.  O Monday.  Monday we attempted to go 30.  Which we didn’t make.  We did make 21.  But the wind was in our faces the whole way out and it was going approximately 15 miles per hour strong in our faces.  The ride back was awesome tho b/c I really didn’t have to pedal.  The wind pushed me.  However.  I am now suffering from the worst sunburn I’ve had in four years.  I burn.  I can’t stand to be touched.  And aloe?  Isn’t helping!
  • Tomorrow is field day.  I’ll be outside all day.  In the sun.  Not helping.  At all.  So I’ll be miserable tomorrow too.  And probably hoarse from yelling at kids.  But after Friday?  Four days.  Four days!
  • We bought a grill last night.  Yay for new grill!  Our old grill used to belong to Noah’s dad and before that, he picked it up at the side of the road.  So you an only imagine how old and icky it is.  And now we pass it on to Noah’s sister.  I’m excited to grill out tonight.
  • I’ve been working on a beautiful scarf for myself.  It’s really pretty turqoise and blues.  I’ll try to get a picture posted.
  • This weekend my parents are coming to visit.  I’m excited.  They haven’t been to our house since Thanksgiving.  I miss that they don’t come visit more often.  But they’ll be here Saturday.  We will grill out and plan our landscaping.  We may even go load up some rocks and make some actual progress.  Probably not, but I can dream!

What are you looking forward to?

Tagged

Lady Z tagged me for this 6 random things Meme.  You know the drill…

– Post the rules on your blog
– Write six random things about yourself in a blog post
– Tag six people in your post
– Let each person know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
– Let the tagger know your entry is up

1.  I don’t eat anything.  I am the pickiest eater you will ever meet.  I don’t eat things that are green or belong in the vegetable family.  Or the grain family.  Or most of the fruit family.  I enjoy pasta, rice, potatoes and fried things.  That’s about it.  Although lately I’ve been branching out.  I now enjoy some Indian food and I mostly pretend I don’t know what’s in it.  🙂

2.  Today is my 4 year wedding anniversary.  That means I got married at age 20.  Whew.  It seems like forever ago.  I still remember being engaged and one of my sorority sisters telling me that I was really stupid for getting engaged.  She used those exact words.  She said that my marriage would fail and I would be miserable because we were getting married too young.  She said it wasn’t fair to either of us to get married that young because we still needed to change and grow and if we were married, we couldn’t do that.  Four years later we’re still going strong.  Sure we’ve had our ups and downs and we’ve threatened to walk out, but we’re still married, we still love each other, and we’ve both done A LOT of changing and growing.  But we’ve done it together.

3.  All through High School and college I played fast pitch softball.  I was a pitcher.  I loved playing softball.  Between high school and college I tried out for a traveling fast pitch team.  But not just any traveling team.  This team was going to Holland to play the Dutch and Belgian Olympic fast pitch teams.  That was seriously the most amazing thing.  I wish that I had been more appreciative at the time.  Holland and Belgium are really beautiful and amazing places.  I really really really want to go back someday.

4.  I LOVE my car.  When my great aunt passed and left us some money, Noah and I each took some of it to what we wanted with.  Noah bought a ridiculously expensive camera and I used mine to pay off my old car and put a little bit down on my new car.  Oh my goodness do I love my new car.  I got a 2006 Subaru Legacy 2.1I.  It is probably going to be my car until it dies.  Which will be forever because Subaru’s routinely get over 300,000 miles.  Now before you start to wonder about why I love my car, let me tell you my luck with cars.  My first car was a 1986 Buick Skyhawk.  Yeah.  Sweet right?  My next car was a 90’s Dodge Shadow.  The engine blew up while I was on my way to see Noah.  So then I got a 2000 Chevy Cavalier.  Which was pretty much my dream car from High School.  Then some jackass totalled it.  Suck.  So we had to get me something kind of right away without time to really look so we got a 2001Ford Focus.  Which was an OK car, but it didn’t have cruise.  And I was driving an hour each way two nights a week to get my masters!  Suck.  So when we got the money and I actually got to choose a car, I did lots of research but I only test drove two cars.  The Subaru and a Ford Escape.  I love my car.  It’s super nice inside, drives like it’s got a Turbo, handles awesome, is all-wheel drive which is great in Ohio, has a sunroof…I could go on and on.  Yeah.  I loves my car.

5.  I love tattoos.  But I think they should be intensely personal.  I do not think that you should mark up your body just for the sake of marking up your body.  I also do not really think that your tattoos should be visible when you are dressed for work.  And then if you complain that you didn’t get a job b/c of your visible tattoos, I kind of want to slap you.  I have a pink and yellow daisy on one hip.  That was my first tattoo.  Then I got a celtic infinity knot on my lower back.  Next I surrounded it with some more celtic knot work.  The next tattoo was horrible.  Let’s just jump to the part where it ended up as a star on my ankle.  That’s the only one I slightly regret.  My most recent work has been stars on my other hip.  These stars document my travels.  I plan on adding more stars when I visit Mim in five weeks.

6.  I have always wanted to be a sign language interpreter.  I took two classes for college credit while in high school and then two more classes through a community center while I was in college.  I love sign language.  I think it’s beautiful to watch and I really enjoy it.  I remember when I worked at a grocery store in high school, there was a deaf man who would come in and one of the cashiers would refuse to wait on him.  She would walk away from her register when he approached.  I just couldn’t get over how rude that was.  He would look for me because he knew that I would be friendly and make an attempt to speak with him.  Someday I want to go to school and get my interpreters certificate and quit my job to do that full time.  But first Noah gets to pursue his dreams, so it can wait.  Someday.

So….that’s it.  6 random things about me that took me almost an hour and a half to come up with and only took you five minutes or less to read.  I do think that I’m one of the last people do this Meme so I’m not going to tag anyone.  If you want to be tagged, you are.

Things I learned…

Things I learned this weekend and one thrown in from last week for good measure.

  • If your bike is stuck in third gear-second cassette and up, do not attempt to ride 20 miles with 10 miles of it being uphill while a storm is coming and you’re riding directly into 20 mph winds.
  • When people are coming over, you can get A LOT of cleaning done in 2 hours.
  • When said cleaning is done, if you take ten minutes at the end of the night to tidy up, said cleaning lasts a really long time.
  • Kindergarten students will weed flower beds for 45 minutes without getting bored.  They will also find lots of creepy crawlies.  Be prepared to identify said creepy crawlies and when they find a tapeworm, don’t scream.  Calmly tell them to throw it on the ground and commence to squishing.  Then be prepared to explain why it’s OK to squish that bug, but not the 25 others they found.
  • Drunk Kari + Fireworks + fire pit = a lot of screaming and drunk Kari’s hair on fire.  Which = bad.

Stupid Government

Today was supposed to be the day that our economic stimulus check was going to be deposited.  Woot. 

Except.

It wasn’t.  I guess I could say stupid Grandma too.  Remember my great aunt who passed away like over a year and a half ago?  Right.  Well.  Apparently Grandma forgot to have the taxes on the estate done on time.  So I didn’t get my little form thingy until AFTER I had already received and spent my return.  I owed the government $430.  Suck.  So because of the amended return I had to file, I will be one of the last people in the entire United States to get their stimulus check.  Not until the end of July, possibly August.

Government, You suck.

Goodbye new grill.  I hope we meet again…

I think…

I think a lot of what I spewed forth the other day on my blog (thank you for the encouragement and kind words) had to do with my indecision over a very important issue in my life. 

I am a decisive person.  When I want something, I know right away.  I don’t dicker over buying a car, I just know which one I want and go buy it.  Not that I don’t haggle over price, I do, I’m cheap, but I know what I want and I go after it.  When we bought the house, once I knew which one we were going to get, I didn’t want to wait, I just wanted it.  I want a pair of shoes?  I can’t wait until my next paycheck like I should, I must.have.them.now.

This is all fine and good with me.  Noah indulges me and I’m slowly getting better about saving and waiting.  In fact, just this week, I put off coloring my hair b/c Noah need some stuff for his bike for Bike to Work Week.  And now I have to wait like two more weeks to get it done.  Possibly four.  See?  I’m getting better.  Anywhoodle.  With all the talk in blogland and in my “real life” about babies, the idea of having a child has been on my mind.  I know I know.  Not a decision I have to make right now.  Don’t judge and don’t tell me that I have loads of time to make that decision.  Not helpful.  I know that I have time to make that decision and I know that I have time to change my mind and I may very well change my mind, but don’t tell me that.  I already know.  It doesn’t change the fact that I feel this intense urge to make that decision and until I make that decision (at least for this present moment), I will continue to feel stressed, tired, etc. 

The problem with this particular decision is society.  And you people.  Everyone is all gaga over having a baby.  Everyone talks about how their womb aches and their brain goes mushy every time they see a baby.  Me?  Not so much.  I started have baby thoughts in HS.  I somehow knew that I wanted to be a mom and would be a good mom, but now was not the right time.  Then I went to college.  I never want kids!  Never!  That was my new thoughts and since Noah didn’t want kids, we seemed to be a good match.  Next I became a teacher and stuck with my never wanting kids feelings.  Part of me is afraid my child would be special needs.  And while I am a special ed. teacher and I know I love my kids, I also know that I could not deal with a special needs kid at home after I had just worked with special needs kids all day at school.  I do not have enough patience.  Do not.  And thinking about my child having Autism or Cerebral Palsy?  I can’t even imagine.  It’s not that those kids are less somehow, it’s just that I have worked extensively with kids with those types of needs and I know what it takes.  I know how hard it is.  And I know that I don’t have it in me to do that.  So that’s part of my fears.  The other part of my fears is that bi-polar runs in both of our families and there is a strong genetic tendency towards it.  I don’t want to inflict that on our child.  And the main reason?  I’m selfish.  I NEED a peaceful house after my day at work.  I NEED alone time.  When you have a child, your WHOLE LIFE CHANGES!  This is what scares me about our society.  We have become a very ME centered society.  And people don’t realize what a huge impact a child will have on your life.  I have seen our friends Mike and Kim with their newborn.  I can’t imagine being the amazing wonderful parents that they are, and I don’t want to be less than that.  But the pressure.  The pressure is everywhere.  It’s ever present.  My friends are getting pregnant, online friends want to be pregnant and talk about it incessantly (it’s your blog, talk about it all you want, I’m not mad, it’s just hard sometimes to read about it).  There is their consensus in society that if you don’t have kids, it’s because you can’t have kids and people feel sorry for you.  My parents, Noah’s parents, my grandparents, they all expect us to have kids.  I’m an only child.  I’m an only grandchild.  If I don’t have kids, it’s like our family line will end with me.  That sort of makes me sad.  And I just feel this overwhelming judgement.  People ask me when we’re going to have kids and I don’t feel like I can say never.  I feel like I have to say, “Oh, we’ve got time.”  When I don’t really mean it.  But if I tell people that we don’t want kids, they look at me like there’s something wrong with me.  Anyway, as some of you readers know, I went through this brief two week period where I tried to convince myself that I wanted a child.  We made a mistake, my period was late, and I panicked.  I started to think about what I considered my worst case scenario.  I figured that if other people make it work, we could too.  But in my heart I was feeling this loss.  The loss of my future with Noah.  And I fought against it and told everyone I know how badly I wanted a child because I thought if I said it enough, it would be true.  But it’s not.

Just being able to admit that I don’t want children, makes me feel better.  It makes me feel like this weight has come off my shoulders.  I may change my mind in the future, but I really don’t think I will.  And it doesn’t mean that I’m broken.  I love kids.  I do!  I’m a teacher!  I’m the first person to ask if I can hold the baby.  But I don’t want one of my own.  Maybe ever.  And that’s Ok.  I can be the cool “aunt” and hopefully godparent who has lots of money and a big cool house who gives the best presents and holds the most fun sleepovers.  But I can also travel, have a nice car, have three dogs and lots of room, because I don’t have the financial burden that is a child (among lots of other great and wonderful things).  Why did I feel the need to add that?  I guess I’m worried that you all, and my parents and loads of other people will think that I don’t like kids.  But it’s not true.  I just know that I’m not a mommy.  And that it doesn’t mean I’m broken.  And it will be OK.

It’s the little things…

Last week was teacher appreciation week.  We got bupkis.  I was a little disappointed, but no big deal.

This week tho…our principal decided to remember that he forgot 🙂  We had pizza Monday, breakfast Tuesday, and today he gave us a gift.  He gave us a package of clickable sharpies and one of those post-it note pop up bases with 16 packages of post-it notes inside.  Seriously?  I LOVE post-it notes and sharpies 🙂

It’s the little things that put a smile on my face.

Also, the fact that I rode 12 miles last night in an hour.  Woot.

Photo #1

I told you that I finished Jillian’s purse just in time for Graduation, but I didn’t have a picture yet….well, here it is!  I am really happy with the way it turned out.