I did it!

I completed a 5k. Which I realize is not a huge accomplishment, people do it all the time. BUT! This was my first attempt at a 5k and I chose a doozy. Noah ran a 10k and I did the 5k with the dog at Hocking Hills. Now let me go back and underline HILLS. I ran for about 25 minutes and walked the rest. I finished in 52 minutes including my water stop. I also ended up dragging the poor dog most of the way. He crapped out on me while we were on the last big hill and I literally dragged him up the hill. So looking at my time, I’m not really ecstatic but I did it! My goal is to run a 5k next spring and run at a 10 to 11 minute pace. Fingers crossed!

Terrific!

Last night while watching America’s Got Talent, I thought of a great drinking game. Every time The Hoff says “terrific” you take a shot. I’m not sure if you would make it through a half hour of the show!

Speaking of shows….True Blood season finale was possibly the worst season finale I’ve ever seen. It was slow and pretty boring. Even the ending wasn’t much of a cliff hanger.

Home sick today. I don’t think I’ve got the dreaded flu of the porcine variety, no fever, but I still feel crummy. Hopefully I’ll feel better today and go back to work tomorrow. I don’t like taking time off.

Do you ever feel…lost?

Today is one of those days that I feel lost.

Some days I don’t recognize the person that I am.

I didn’t know that I was the type of person who considered spending a ridiculous amount of money to keep my hair dyed and highlighted.

I didn’t know that I was the type of person who felt the need to wax every three weeks and feels weird when I don’t.

I didn’t know that I needed to wear makeup every day to feel attractive.

I didn’t know that I was a collector of “stuff.”  If I had unlimited money resources, I would be one of those people you see on television, the hoarders, who can’t use their bathroom because they have so much junk.

I didn’t know that it would matter so much to me that I have children.  Or that it would bother me that other people are having children and I’m not.  Or that my friends will be on their second and third children before Noah and I are ready for one.

I didn’t know that I would ever give in to Noah the way that I do about money, dinner, pretty much everything.  People think that I wear the pants but I don’t.  He gets pretty much whatever he wants because I have a hard time telling him no.

I didn’t know that when the scale read the smallest number it has since I got married, I would still consider parts of myself fat and see parts that I need to work on.  20 pounds ago I would never have thought I would feel this way.  I hate those girls who bitch and moan because they weigh 127 and they’re only 5’3″.  I hate that.  You’re skinny.  Shut up.  But here I am bitching about 132.

I never thought I would be agreeing to live in the country and let my husband have a small farm.  I moved away from that because I didn’t want it.

I didn’t know that I cared this much about what other people thought of me.  That I cared this much to keep up appearances at the risk of drowning in debt.

I know that we are all works in progress, but some days I don’t recognize where I am in that progression.

20 pounds down!

It took me almost two years, but I finally lost the 20 pounds that I definitely needed to.  I was up around 152 (and I’m only 5’3″ on a good day) when my school did a biggest loser challenge.  I decided not to participate because of the financial commitment, but I did weigh myself for the first time in quite awhile.  I was pretty upset by that number.  I knew I had gained some weight, my 6’s no longer fit and I was bordering on a 10, but I wasn’t unhappy enough with the way I looked to do anything about it.  Well that number on the scale certainly motivated me.  But I did it the healthy way.  I didn’t want to crash diet or exercise until I couldn’t see straight.  I changed the way I ate.  I changed the amount I ate.  I started to exercise, then I had two slipped disks in my back and spent six months dealing with constant pain.  I hovered around 140 for quite some time.  Then this summer I decided to put more effort into exercising and finding exercise that I actually enjoyed.  Enjoy exercise?  Crazy.  I found that I love to rollerblade, ride my bike, take the dog for a walk, and for the first time in probably five years I ran outside.  I started losing weight and really liking the way I looked.  I decided to count calories.  I joined sparkpeople.com and found an easy way to count my calories.  I lost more weight!  Then just as I reached the 19 pound weight loss, I hurt my knee.  So I’m back on rest, not allowed to ride my bike or rollerblade or even walk for more than a mile at a time.  I have definitely been counting my calories and making sure they count.  This week on Monday I weighed 132.  I didn’t post it because we all know how the scale fluctuates, but I stayed at 132 all week!  Most of my pants are too big, many of them too big to even consider wearing anymore.  I fit into the 6’s that I wore when I started teaching 5 years ago and they are even starting to be too loose.  I don’t have the money to buy new clothes, nor do I want to until I make sure that I maintain 132.  So now, I’m going to up my calories a little bit to try to find a balance to maintain my current weight.  I really like the way I look.  I still have some saddlebag issues to work out, but until we figure out what’s wrong with my knee those will take a back seat.  I hope to join a gym (teacher special, $50 for both Noah and me) and take yoga class, spin class, and maybe swimming?  I’m purposefully not tutoring this year after school because I want some ME time.

Anyway, down 20 pounds from the me I was two years ago October!