Blank

Today I just feel very blank.  There’s a lot going on, but I feel like it’s happening around me instead of my participating in it.  The first week of school is always different and interesting.  I have new kids, a new school, new staff, new everything this year.  It’s stressful.  These kids are more on the moderate to severe range of disabilities and…that’s not really what I want to work with.  But I didn’t know that going into this position.  I wish that I had.  I have to keep this position for for at least a year and then I can interview out, both within and with out the district.  I don’t want to be having these thoughts.  But on top of not really liking the level of disability that I’m working with, there are contractual issues.  With my last district, we had really good contract negotiations.  We got 3% raises for the next three years and they didn’t touch our insurance.  With this district, our contract is up and the negotiations are basically at a standstill.  The levy passed but the district doesn’t want to give us a pay increase, the pay increase that they promised the teachers before the levy.  The district also wants to up what we pay for our insurance, decrease the coverage, and exclude our spouses.  Starting tomorrow, we are “working to the rule.”  That means that I will walk in the door with the whole staff precisely at 8 and walk out the door with the staff precisely at 3:40.  This is so not what I want to be doing right now.  But it’s better than striking, which apparently is our next step if working to the rule doesn’t work.  It was really hard for me to make the decision to leave my old district for a new one, and I can’t help but wonder if I made the right choice?  Noah and I can’t afford to live without my paycheck for very long if the teachers strike.  We won’t be able to go on the baby making vacation we have planned for next summer in order to be able to pay our bills.  And I know that sounds whiney, but we have been looking forward to that.

I just feel like…I’m not attached to what’s going on around me.  I go to work and I do my job as best I can.  I come home and try to keep the house clean.  I go to bed.  I get up and start it all over again.  I hate feeling this way.

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Miss You

On top of everything else that’s going on and stressing me out, with work and my parent’s moving, my parents had to put my childhood pet to sleep on Wednesday.  She’s been having a rough time lately, she had a stroke and had stopped eating.  My mom has been nursing her along for awhile now.  She was our dog’s puppy.  We ended up keeping her because she had some physical disabilities, but she never realized it.  The vet didn’t think she would make it to 6 months old, but she turned 12 this spring.  When I went home on Sunday to help with the final move, she wasn’t there and it was really strange.  Lily will be missed.

Whew!

So on the job front…I did what I was supposed to do and the district messed it up.  They admitted that and I was officially resigned as of the board meeting on August 3rd.  Why they chose not to notify the school I was assigned to…I don’t know.  It makes me look bad which I don’t appreciate.

My classroom is well on it’s way to being finished.  I think I’m to the organizing and little bits and peices parts.  I need to pick up a white board from Meijer, move Leroy into school and put my sh*t away!  Tomorrow is student registration from 9 to 12nn and then I have orientation Thursday and Friday then Monday…first official work day!  This summer went by so fast!

I had to take ten days off running because of my stitches but I’m back at it.  It ended up being 2 full weeks instead of just 10 days because my parents officially sold their house last week.  So we’ve been driving two hours each way for the last couple of weekends to help them pack and move their boxes.  They still don’t have a place to move into, but…I’m trying not to worry about that.  This weekend we have a wedding Saturday and then we’re back to Greenville to help my parents move their furniture.  They are officially out of my childhood home on Sunday.  It’s pretty sad.  Especially because the people buying it are ridiculous.  They are going to ruin it and I just can’t think about it.  Anyway…running is pretty difficult right now.  I did a trail run Monday and a 3 miler tonight.  It’s been rough.  I’m sore.  Back at it again tomorrow.  Got to get my mileage up before my half marathon in October!  Too soon!  And my duathalon in September.  That’s the one I’m really excited about.  More about that later…Noah wants to go to bed!

Have a great weekend everyone!  If you’re a teacher…good luck with your first few days!

Uh-Oh

So….I did what I was supposed to do.  I turned in my resignation for my previous job within my contractual time limit.  Actually three days before the deadline.  I made it for a later effective date because I was teaching summer school and needed to get paid.  I was told everything was A-OK.

Today I got a letter from the principal of the school I would be working at if I had not quit.  This letter was welcoming me to the school and asking me to come to new student orientation and be introduced and about the beginning of the year meetings.  Um.  What?  No one informed her?  So I called downtown and asked if everything had been done…turns out they never processed my resignation.  They had a copy of it and entered it into the system, but never processed it.

So….they never assigned another teacher to my building.  And it’s far too late to hire someone, school starts Aug. 23rd.  I could potentially get screwed here.  My previous district could decide that they aren’t going to honor my resignation and they aren’t going to let me out of my contract and I could have to pack my new classroom up and go back to my previous district and set up a new classroom.  And of course, work for a principal and staff who know that I don’t want to be there.

This could be very very bad.

So…

I’m becoming VERY nervous about this upcoming school year.  I feel like I am not equipped to teach these kids.  I feel like I don’t have the right tools to work with these kids.  I am getting no training and I’m trying to figure out what the h*ll I’m doing.  And I don’t even have students yet.  I have a feeling I am going to f*ck this up royally.  And be extremely stressed out to boot.

Ugh.

I want to go shopping 😦  You can’t pay off debt and have a baby if you keep shopping and spending money…

Speaking of babies?  My friends need to keep their children at home.  I flop between being EXTREMELY annoyed at their parenting choices (I know I know, I’m not a parent but I AM a teacher so I feel like I have some room to judge) and being extremely jealous of their little families.  I want one.

That is all.

Oh and Noah and I tried to have a date night but it ended up sucking and we ended up at home watching Ninja Assassin.  At least I got dressed up.

For 10 days?

Almost a month ago I had two moles removed. One was fine and benign the other…not so much. It came back moderately atypical. The dermatologist said it wasn’t cancer yet, but it would be. Someday. They couldn’t say when. So they needed to remove more of it. So yesterday I had a large chunk cut out of my left boob. The incision after sutures is 1 1/2″ long. When they did the first removal, the dermatologist was inept and I had a HUGE scar just from a tiny punch. This time, hopefully the scar will be minimal. There are two layers of stitches and none of them are external. I’m not allowed to do anything for the next 10 days. Like anything. No running, lifting, reaching, etc. Basically anything that stretches your boob is off limits. EVERYTHING does that. I’m upset I can’t run for 10 days. This puts my 1/2 marathon training plan off by about two weeks. Two weeks I can’t really spare 😦

In other news, I went into my new school and met with my co-teachers yesterday. It was the first time I felt like I made the right choice switching school districts. I’m pretty excited! But….I can’t move in for another 10 days because I’m not allowed to lift my boxes. Boo.