I’ve been whiney lately. Depressed. Sad. Anxious. Freaked out. Overwhelmed.
Things aren’t perfect. I know that’s life. I don’t need perfect, but I do need a plan. I don’t need my plan to necessarily fall out the way I have it planned, but I do need a plan. Our lives are very up in the air. Lots of things are out of my control. I hate that. I need to have control. I need to be in control of things in order to feel like myself and feel like life is on track.
I was whining to another teacher today and she said to me “At least you have a contract for next year.” And while I know that she’s right, I still felt whiney. When another friend asked how I was doing just a short while later I said, “Things are OK. They aren’t great right now, I’m feeling a little freaked out, but everything in perspective.”
Not two hours after that, I got a lot of very real to me perspective. Two very close and dear friends of ours are a one income household. He works here in Columbus and drives over an hour to his job. Been there for 12 years. She stays at home with their two boys in their lovely house. They’ve had some rough times last year, but this year has really been looking up for them. She and I have a fun summer planned of days with the boys and days where it’s just us girls. This afternoon he was laid off. As of July 1, he will no longer have a job. They won’t have insurance. They are worried they may lose their house. I know a lot of people have gone through this and are going through this right now, but it’s never really sunk in what “laid off” really means to a family until I talked to my friend today on my way home from school.
This is not something I would wish on anyone. No one should be going through this. It’s definitely given me some perspective on my whiney-ness.
I have a job for next year, even if it’s one I don’t want. We have plenty of money to live the way we want to, even if I wish we had more. We have health insurance and are both able to go to the doctor when we need to. We have a nice home that we own and are able to make mortgage payments on. We are both healthy and able to run and bike and do all the things we want to. Best of all, we have some amazing friends who listen to us whine and drink with us when we need it. So now we get to be amazing friends to the ones who feel like they are losing everything. We’ll help in any way they let us, and then in some they won’t. I know they will get through this and they will be stronger for it.
What helps you keep perspective?