Wah

I know I said I didn’t want to whine but I feel like this is something I need to get out.  I’m hoping that if I get it out once, then I won’t feel the need to whine about it to everyone I know.
I didn’t get the second grade position.  I was called and told I was top two for the position.  I got my ass ripped by the summer school director for taking that phone call and my pirncipal got a phone call saying that I am “unprofessional” among other things for that damn position and I didn’t get it.  Not only did I not get it, I got a freaking generic email about the position.  I didn’t even rank a phone call from the principal or assistant principal.

First of all, know when the HR system is going to send the generic emails and call before they do.  This is the umpteenth time I’ve gotten the generic rejection email before the principal’s phone call.  Secondly, I think the way this district does things is ridiculous.  It is now my goal to get out of this district for next school year.  I won’t leave without a job, but I definitely don’t want to stay.

I took a pay cut and an insurance hit to come.  I gave up lots of extra money in contracts.  Answering that phone call means I’ll probably never work summer school for this district again so there goes my summer money.  The district is extremely unorganized.  No one seems to have answers for anything.  They don’t help pay for college credit which is required to renew your license.  They aren’t hiring any teachers who have any experience b/c they don’t want to pay them.  The special ed. dept is ran by someone who cares more about red tape than about our kids.  I was promised training in autism this summer when I agreed to take the job.  I need to be trained in order to do the job the best it was meant to be done.  They come back with “we don’t have money.”  This district has NO money.  Despite being in the suburbs with a lot more money than my inner city school, they have no money.  We have to buy most supplies on our own.  We don’t get reimbursed for anything.  I spent more of my own money this year than ever before.  It was absurd.

The whole hiring process is absurd.  There is no set time frame for the hiring.  There isn’t even really a process.  They are still figuring things out and it’s almost August!  Principals are allowed to hire whomever they want regardless.  The union has no say over things.  They are so weak.  They can’t help you no matter what happens.  It’s really frustrating to not have back up and support.  To have administration being able to do whatever they want and have no one to answer to.

There is definite favoritism going on with this district.  I believe because it’s so small.  I believe that I didn’t get the second grade position because of the summer school director.  I believe that she called the school and told them the same things she told my principal based on a 10 minute observation and so they went with another candidate.  My principal hired an outside person because she was a friend of a teacher instead of hiring me because he wanted to make this other person happy.  One of the people that I work directly with is a lieing, manipulative biotch and I’ve asked my principal for help but he refuses.  He doesn’t want to get involved.  Well I’m sorry, but you need to.  She’s calling my students’ parents.  He needs to get involved.  She doesn’t like my teaching style.  She wants to kids to rely exclusively on her and I want my kids to be independent.

I’m just so frustrated that someone who did a less than 10 minute observation, who obviously has some personal issues going on (she was in her office at 10pm) is having a disastrous effect on my teaching career.  She’s gone out of her way to call a school where I interviewed, maybe two schools, and tell them that I don’t deserve the job.  She’s basically condemned me to another year in the AU unit which isn’t a good place for me.  It’s not a good place for me to be mentally.  It’s really draining me of my desire to teach.  Really quickly.  And I feel like I can’t get out.  I applied for seven or eight jobs and didn’t get any of them.  That’s very ego crushing for me because that’s never happened before.  If I can get an interview, I usually get the job.  One of the teachers I work with told me to just stay under the radar with this woman because she will continue to try to screw me over whenever she can.  That’s how she is.  That’s totally unfair.  She watched me for 10 minutes!  I’m sorry that I answered my phone.  That was a poor choice.  I knew it was the second grade position, so I wanted to know.  I should have waited and listened to my voice mail.  I apologized for making a poor choice, there’s nothing else I can do.  But now I’m paying heavily for it.

I want out.  I don’t want to go back next year.  At this point, if I could find a job that would pay as much as teaching, I would leave.  I’d be out.  I’m so frustrated and upset by this situation and I’m kicking myself for leaving my last district.  It was a stupid move, but they aren’t hiring anyone this year so I can’t go back.  I want to go back.  I understand urban kids and families better.  There are more job opportunities.  I want out.

That said, I am grateful to have a job.  I am very very nervous about how this year is going to go but I am grateful to have a job.  I know that there are people who don’t have jobs and I do.  I know that I am able to support my family and I am thankful for that.  But I’m still disappointed and I still want something different.  I want to find a good fit for me.  I had a good fit, but then the school closed.  I want to find a good place for me.

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