Dear Rain: I tried to listen to Christmas music in the car today and realized that I can’t enjoy Christmas music when it’s in the 50’s and rainy. Please turn into snow.
Dear Cranky Autism Unit teacher: if I didn’t invite you to my holiday beverage party, maybe it’s because I don’t like you. You don’t like me. You take every opportunity to talk about me behind my back and tear me down so…yeah, I didn’t invite you. Why would I?
Dear Bob Evans Coffee: You suck. I should have gotten the Newman’s Own brand that I love and doesn’t give me headaches.
Dear School: We only have 17 more days together until Christmas break. Please go by quickly and uneventfully. I could use a break.
Dear motivation: Please come back. My running and I miss you. I need to finish my mother’s scarf by Dec. 12th and I need to clean house before above mentioned holiday beverage party. Please come back to me before I wake up in the morning.
These open letters brought to you by my cranky, scrooge-ish, unmotivated, getting fatter by the minute on cakes and cookies, rainy December’s suck self.