My plan of “do nothing exercise wise between thanksgiving and christmas, sit on your butt and eat whatever you want which will result in heartburn and many upset stomachs but who cares its the holidays!” has resulted in a three pound weight loss! I’m back under 130 for the first time in probably two years? Which resulted in naked dancing this morning that prompted Noah to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to dance naked. To which I replied strippers do it all the time! His response? People don’t laugh at strippers when they do it. Thanks love.
* I need to go dancing. Desperately.
* I’m loving my new pandora station. It makes me happy. Noah hates it.
* three days until Christmas break. Can’t come soon enough.
* having a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit. Wondering when I’ll get my secret Santa gift…wondering if my person got theirs…
* not sure how to end this…
I’m angsting (is that a word? apparently not…but I like it) over work. Continually. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to lose my job in the spring so do I start looking now? Do I wait and take my chances? When you’re a teacher, leaving in the middle of the year is unheard of. You just don’t do it. But if I have a chance to leave, do I take it? If I had a job interview, should I go for it? I probably should, but the guilt that I feel over the mere thought of leaving my students mid year makes my stomach churn. My stomach has been so upset lately I actually took a pregnancy test thinking I might be pregnant. And when it came back negative, I was a little relieved. I want to start a family, but in times like this? Uncertain times where I may not have a paycheck next year and we may lose our house, where I might have to do a job interview obviously pregnant, are probably not the best time.
Amid all of that, on my drive to work this morning I realized that while I do whine a lot and I always want something “more” (whatever that might be…who knows), I am very lucky and I am very thankful to have my family and friends around me. I am thankful for what I have. I am grateful to have the online community (even though I disappear for months at a time), the school community, my friends from my previous jobs, and our families around us. I am lucky to have a nice home, nice cars, the ability to run marathons, and live a comfortable life style. I am lucky to have a job that I enjoy, with students and families that I love. I am lucky and I am thankful. I need to remember that more…less whine, more thanks.