I’m tired of the high school drama.  The he said, she said crap.  If we all love cycling, can’t we agree that people have different personalities and that those personalities don’t always mesh?  Can’t we take a carefully worded comment and respect that the person was willing to give us their opinion and keep the source of said opinion to ourselves?  And if someone says to you, “so and so said…” how about you say to yourself, “hey, that person is my friend.  I don’t think they would have said that in exactly that light.  Let me go to them directly and ask them what’s going on?” instead of bitching about it to six other people. Which is how it gets back to the supposed author of the statement who is then extremely confused and hurt over a holiday weekend with no way to make it right.  Especially when they never said anything like that to begin with.  It’s frustrating when you can’t trust people who are your friends to respect your privacy or to think about how they are going to share what you have said with them.  Instead of saying “so and so said…” why don’t you just say, “I’ve heard…could you confirm?”

This stupid women’s team is turning out to be a mess.  People I thought I liked from my team, I can’t really stand.  People I thought I could trust from other teams, turns out no.  This women’s team that is supposed to bring us all together is actually splitting people apart and making people choose sides.  This is why I don’t like women.  This is why I can’t stand stupid crap like this.  It just turns into a popularity contest and you learn things about people that you wish you didn’t know but you can’t unlearn.  

Thanks for adding yet another layer of suck to a crappy crappy Thanksgiving.

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Family?

I’m so frustrated with my family. They only live an hour and forty minutes away but they act like its across the desert when I ask them to come here. they only come to Columbus twice a year and this year, they aren’t coming at all.

I’ve been sick for several days. But I’m on antibiotics and I’m not contagious. But I just wasn’t sure that I would feel up to having all those ppl here so I tried to reschedule. Before I could even get to that, my mom starts in with how they shouldn’t come.  So I ask if we can reschedule for Saturday.  They all agree to it…and then they call me back two hours later and say no.  My uncle has them all convinced that the traffic around my place will be horrific b/c of the OSU vs. Michigan game.  If you’re not living in Ohio, then you don’t understand how much of a big deal that game is.  But the traffic isn’t that bad.  And I could bring them around the back way so they wouldn’t have to deal with the traffic at all.  What it really comes down to, is that they don’t want to drive and they don’t want to miss watching the game.

I’m so tired of putting myself out there to them and always going to them and never getting anything in return.  I’ve asked several times for them to come to Columbus to see us race or go out to dinner with us.  But they never come.  They always have an excuse.  I’m their only child.  It has definitely gotten worse as I’ve gotten older.  I always felt like an afterthought to them.  They did all the things good parents did.  They were involved in my academics and sports in school.  They were always there for me.  But I’ve always known that they tried to have kids for over ten years before they gave up.  Then after they gave up, several years later, I appeared.  And I’ve always felt that they could have gone their entire lives and not had kids and been perfectly happy.  They wouldn’t have felt they were missing anything.  The older I get, the more they pull away from me.  Despite the fact that they only have two hobbies, quilting and hunting, they are far too busy to come to any of our races.  They are too busy to meet us for lunch.  They say that it’s too hard for them to drive less than two hours to just spend the day with us but they expect that from us.  I’ve tried talking to them about it, and they don’t see it.  They don’t understand.  I guess I’m just tired of trying to fix it.  I’m just over it.  I’m tired of cancelling our plans to make room for theirs when they obviously can’t be bothered to do the same.  I don’t really feel like there’s any hold for us to stay in Columbus or even Ohio anymore.  I used to think I’d be worried about  my family and miss them.  But…the more time goes on, the more they push me away, the less I think I would notice.

Whew!

Raced my first cross race of the season Saturday. 8th in my category and12th overall. Not quite what I was hoping for but it was an absolutely gorgeous day for a race and I out in my best effort, what else can you ask for?

Raced again tiday…Although raced is a bit of a stretch :). Mostly just tried not to die!  I was so tired and sore from yesterday. Today was Frankenbike. It’s a 50 mile climbing, road, gravel, singe track bitch of a ride. I only did 25 and I have to admit I walked quite a bit of the hills. I know hills are my weakness, and these were rough!  Guess I have something to work on.  🙂

Overall it was a fun weekend, good courses, great weather, and good friends. Can’t wait for the next one!

first run since…

first run since April I think…I thought I was running a nice, easy pace that I could have gone at least two more miles and maintained…I’m actually faster than I was when I stopped running late last fall!  How sweet is that?