Sorry I’ve been MIA. There’s been a lot going on.
First, a little old lady turned left in front of me without a green turn arrow and hit my car. Of course. Then she proceeded to leave the scene. Luckily a good Samaritan saw her leave the scene and called the police with her license plate. They were able to track her down and she admitted fault. My car is slightly damaged, but I’m not driving it b/c it doesn’t have a right headlight and that’s illegal. So I’m driving a Civic. And no offense to anyone who has a Civic, but it’s chintzy. It’s definitely not as nice as my car and I miss my car. There is not ETR on the arrival of parts for my car so we have no idea how long this will take. Le Sigh.
Next, I got an online account warning that our bank account had dropped below $30. And I’m thinking really? It should be around $150. So I hop online and I check it out and turns out…someone has hacked my husband’s debit card and is using it to make fraudulant purchases. So I freak out of course. I call the bank and they can’t help me that day because the charges were “pending” and not completed. I had to wait until the charges were completed before they could do anything. So they are investigating and temporarily gave us our money back. Noah has no debit card right now and hopefully won’t have an emergency. Blah. No idea how long this is going to take.
On top of those things, work is stressing me out. I feel somewhat like a failure. I chose to be a special ed teacher. I knew that was what I wanted to teach. I’ve never felt like I needed a change until this year. I feel like I’m failing at my chosen profession. Like I can’t do it. And I hate to feel that way. But next year I definitely need a change. I don’t know if that means going back to regular education or if that means moving to a high school, but I need a break. I hope that eventually I’ll get back to special ed, but for now I need a break. I’m starting to feel burnt out and I want to make the change while I’m still doing a good job. I want to make the change before I’m no longer effective.
Sorry to be so mopey. I’m just feeling….frustrated and stressed. We’ve got stressful situations going on, we’re trying to pay off debt, we joined a Triathlon Team so that’s money out the door and more time devoted to exercise which means less time at home. Our house is a wreck and I’m not done with the homemade Christmas, nor will I be done in time. I just feel blah.
The fascinating life of me 
There’s just something about the Holidays that intensify how we feel, good or bad.
Sorry you’re having such a sucky time. I hope you the Holiday break gives you a recharge.
P.S. Get a massage, you need/deserve it.
You have every right to feel blah. And for what it’s worth? I think you are being so professional by realizing you need a change now. It means you really care about your job and your students and that speaks volumes.